Eat for Health, Run for Parker

A new day and I have a new motto.

Eat for Health, Run for Parker.

My dad came home recently with the news from his doctor that he was pre-diabetic because of his eating habits and lack of exercise.  YIKES. He told us and the room got quiet and we all just sat there thinking about how this wasn't good and something needed to be done.  In a family, you work together, then you accomplish together.  So I made a pact with my dad to not eat desserts or soda with him so that he can get into a better condition, and then frankly, I will too.  I've stuggled my whole life to eat with moderation and be consistent in exercise, but I feel more motivated than ever now.  If my success means his success, nothing can stop me.  Its personal now.  My daddy needs me, and I will do everything I can to succeed.  I hope he can be healthy to play with my kids one day.

So that is why I say, Eat for Health.

One of my best friends and former mission companion Michelle Parker has been suffering since Last May from an unidentifiable disease that pretty much restricts physical movement and makes her really tired.  She was always really really active and LOVED running.  Until she can run, I feel this compulsion to run for her.  As if some how me running makes things more just in some way.  This doesn't make logical sense, all I know is that I run for her.

So, I will keep running for Parker.

With these emotional investments, I can't help but be consistent.  So here we go. I've been running almost every day and I've been off desserts and soda for 8 days.  I'm feeling healthy and proud of myself.  I feel solid not on the brink of binge.  It feels good and freeing.

I've kind of been in this relationship for about 4 months or so with this guy and we recently ended things.  It was never really a fully ripe relationship, always me kinda hoping for something more and he being kind of confused on how to feel when a girl is obviously liking him.  What else to say when someone else is missing you and thinking about you? SO anyway, we officially were dating for 2 days. Ha. But then we talked and it wasn't a good idea.  I guess I let myself fall in love too fast.  So now I'm in a recoop stage.  Its been ok, I still think about him, but its getting less and I don't consider calling him everyday tho usually he comes up in my mind. I will call him after I hear the new Mates of State album Mountaintops and I think we'll have a good convo.  We are good friends, so I hope that I can separate him from a past failure in love.

Today in the grocery store as I asked my mom's permission to check my blood pressure by the pharmacy she told me that since being around me for so long, she's really been seeing her little Emily in my facial expressions and stuff.  She said its just been so long since we were around each other so long, that she is happy to see me again.  It was a beautiful thing for her to say and it made me really happy.

Another highlight of the day was when I was running at the track.  I entered for a second that shade and it was sooo nice, I found a lady in the shade too and I commented with her about it "oooo its nice here in the shade!"  "oh I know, that's why I'm walkin' slower here" she said.  We laughed.  I love laughing with strangers.  Then later on I saw her again and inquired whether she walked everyday.  She said, "yeah everyday since last august, I've lost 100 pounds now! I'm just trying to get to the weight on my license, I've been lying all these years!!" I was shocked and so impressed and I told her I've been lyin' too. A great moment.

So I will try to write daily now. Last night at FHE they said that journal writing enhances goal achievement, so i'll see what I can do. : )

Apparently my skin is glued

Hello, today was just fantastichno. We ran in the morning to the park with President Karadjov like normal and then ate the best breakfast ever - it was just oatmeal. Tania is a magic worker, how she made it so good I just don't know. Then we all cleaned the apartment - We all were kinda singing to ourselves different songs, that was a nice moment. THEN we packed up and got on our way to my first bulgarian picnic this summer on Vitosha mountain.

Carolyn and I had already cooked our portion of the picnic - snicker brownies and frog eye salad yesterday, so we just grabbed that along with a bucket of marinated meat and shicabobs and what else do you need in life? really? We through Altye in the back and little Berti sat in the back with Tania and Carolyn.

It is beautiful on you way because you leave the biggest city in the country to small cobble stone roads with forest on either side. You are in a completely different place, its amazing. Once we parked we found a little path and hiked to "our place" as they called it because 2 summers ago we had gone with the branch and done a bbq. It was lovely to be all together. I feel very close to them, our surrogate family here. Not in a way that I would tell them everything really about things that are hard for me, but i just feel sooo loved by them and they really care for us in every way. It feels so great. I just pray that I can know how to give back to them and how to know what help I can be.

So we found "our place" and set up camp. I chatted with President about trees and plant spirits - how that is a mystery to me yet I know its true that they have spirits. I wonder if they have feelings. President was feeling bad cuz the fire was slow, but it ended up making the most delicious and juicy and tender shishcabobs -- mmmmmmmm. With green and red pepper, eggplant(blue tomatoe is another name in Bulgarian), onion, and tomatoe. We ate and chatted and were all really glad to be in the fresh air. It was just so nice.

After we ate we all laid down on a nice sheet to nap. Before Carolyn and I laid down I gave her a little shoulder rub. President said, is there something wrong Carolyn? I can take a look at your shoulders if you want. . . Then Tania commanded her to lay down, feet facing down. Then Presdient revealed that he was a massuse for years. ! . Ok, if I ever knew that, I suvsem forgot. Cool though huh?? Then he gave her a 45 minute massage and said he would take a look at me too if I wanted. So then I received the most thorough head massage of my life. Apparently my scalp muscles are tight!! And he did things to my head that felt sooooooo good. Oh man. He rubbed my head and neck for 45 mins to an hour. Wow. I say, wow. That was so awesome. I was in some kind of bliss. Just eaten beautiful picnic, in a beautiful mountain camp site, laying in the sun, getting a head massage with people I consider my family, and President teaching us facts about our health all the while. It was something beautiful. Memorable. Hubav Hubav e jivot.

fairly land and tickled lips

Tonight I went on a shopping trip with my sis Jessica to get some items before my trip to Bulgaria. It was lovely, just being with her. Laughing and such. She is my best role model. He smeared eyeshadows all over our arms to find the perfect compact of shadow. While the hellokitty compact complete with mirror, 6 colors of shadow and a hidden layer with 2 blushes was tempting, I took the basic sephora brand gold shimmers.

After I dropped Jessica off I had a picturesque drive home. Listening to samba beats by Joao Gilberto, windows and sunroof down. What really made the drive while cruising on PolyDrummond, I looked out on my favor meadow in town and was wishing it was light so that I could see the beautiful fields with the lush trees. WAS I SURPRISED that what I saw was possibly more stunning in the night than at sunset. The trees although all dark, were flickering with the light of a magical inhabitant. Fireflies. :) I had to see more.

I pulled into the nearest road and parked in a strangers driveway, turned off the lights, started over the song 'wave' and just admired my view for a good 7 minutes.

As I continued I noticed a tickle on my face as my hair was getting blown. I realized, hey, I kinda like this. Its tickling my lips. How nice. Like they were my friends.

Life my friends, est belle.

all my love,

emily

2-25-08

raspberry yoplait yogurt 170 cals
nature valley granola bar 200 cals fiber 4g
Triscuit minis 210 cals 6g fiber 8g fat

I'm going to change. i'm having a hard time staying awake today, really tired. i tried to fast but i thought i was going to pass out. and i have so much work to do today. time to go hard core! watch out. hunter wrote me back, asking me to read his blog. i find myself constantly disappointed by him. oh well, i guess i should have known.

2-20-08

2-20-08

Hot cereal for breakfast
oatmeal raisin granola bar - 140 cals 2.5 fat and 2g fiber
half a small broccoli and cheese soup
one white roll
clif bar calories 230 2.5 g fat fiber 5g
i bottle of water!!!

Invisible Family of Smiles

Hey there blog of mine. Its Sunday, what a great day. Lately i've been faced with a big decision. At this time when both of my roommates have boyfriends, I am often left at home while they are off in love land. I am so glad for them, really, people in love are my favorite kind of people, but sometimes its a little hard to be the one without. Somehow i've been really blessed and strengthened so far. I've been ok, fine. Better than fine, i've been extremely happy.
Last night we all went disco roller skating. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats how much fun it was, i just never wanted to stop. It was a great workout too, and so much fun. i think its my favorite thing on this planet right now. I have wanted to go since i came to school but just havn't. Chloe hates it. She had J with her tho, takin care, doin what he does best. I think she just felt bad holdin him back tho. I'm almost sure that i am going to go roller skating every week. i can go on the cheap days.
And TRENT! did i mention trent? He is Laura's love who lives in California. So he came down for the weekend and i met him and i immediately loved him, like i had known him for a while. I felt real comfortable just being around him. Mostly i loved the way he was with Laura, they were just perfect together. the right amount of laura i love you and your my girlfriend contact while still being a person and being able to be with others besides her. His hair rocks, his scruff rocks, he rocks.
So then we came home, chloe came home for one second to grab a movie and go watch it with JJ and Laura took Trent home to her sisters to sleep. I was at home. Happy. I made a yoga playlist and stretched it out, and reached nomas day. then slept like a new woman, strong, knowing that i can do this. I wasn't sad. it crossed my mind to be sad, but i just decided not to be, cuz i wasn't sad in my heart. i was happy. and thats what i must remember, my heart is happy so i should be too. My love is still waiting for me :) I can see him when i close my eyes, smiling at me. thinking that i'm out there somewhere too.

or else my heart will explode

I am just doing the normal study for a test thing. today i decided to do it a little different, i do like to shake things up from time to time. On a computer in the humanities lab, i chose to listen to a byu french studies podcast as i studied french grammar. It was one with the director yvon le bras and two girls who qui ont faire les stages en France. I thought as i was listening, oh ya, this will be really great for me to hear.
i don't know if i was wrong or right. as it was playing there was an increasing pressure in my chest cavity. this happens from time to time, meaning that my heart want to explode because of happiness or longing or something else. this was longing. more than a want, more than a desire. its a must. i must go to france. i'm going to live there for many months and see what it tastes like.

Why do i love all things french? i'm not sure. i just always have and i can't stop. i know it has something to do with the fact that i love culture, and this is the one i've been studying for so long. when you feel like you know someone, you can't help but love them like they are a part of you. thats how i feel about france, about speaking french. its all i want to do. i want to speak it at home but i know that know one will understand; they'll just think i'm showing off or something. il y a un trou au coeur quand je ne parle pas français. et je pense peut-etre cette semestre il est en train de grandir.

so i've started this blog today. listening to richard galliano on the accordion. dreaming.
why do i feel this way. i have plans. to go on a mission. i can do an internship in france afterwards. i know this. but at the same time i feel like the brat in charlie in the chocolate factories, don't care how, i want it now. but i'll just try to let me heart simmer down and study for this test.

i hope i do ok. ! yikes. i want to learn french. here i go.