2-25-08

raspberry yoplait yogurt 170 cals
nature valley granola bar 200 cals fiber 4g
Triscuit minis 210 cals 6g fiber 8g fat

I'm going to change. i'm having a hard time staying awake today, really tired. i tried to fast but i thought i was going to pass out. and i have so much work to do today. time to go hard core! watch out. hunter wrote me back, asking me to read his blog. i find myself constantly disappointed by him. oh well, i guess i should have known.

2-20-08

2-20-08

Hot cereal for breakfast
oatmeal raisin granola bar - 140 cals 2.5 fat and 2g fiber
half a small broccoli and cheese soup
one white roll
clif bar calories 230 2.5 g fat fiber 5g
i bottle of water!!!

Invisible Family of Smiles

Hey there blog of mine. Its Sunday, what a great day. Lately i've been faced with a big decision. At this time when both of my roommates have boyfriends, I am often left at home while they are off in love land. I am so glad for them, really, people in love are my favorite kind of people, but sometimes its a little hard to be the one without. Somehow i've been really blessed and strengthened so far. I've been ok, fine. Better than fine, i've been extremely happy.
Last night we all went disco roller skating. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats how much fun it was, i just never wanted to stop. It was a great workout too, and so much fun. i think its my favorite thing on this planet right now. I have wanted to go since i came to school but just havn't. Chloe hates it. She had J with her tho, takin care, doin what he does best. I think she just felt bad holdin him back tho. I'm almost sure that i am going to go roller skating every week. i can go on the cheap days.
And TRENT! did i mention trent? He is Laura's love who lives in California. So he came down for the weekend and i met him and i immediately loved him, like i had known him for a while. I felt real comfortable just being around him. Mostly i loved the way he was with Laura, they were just perfect together. the right amount of laura i love you and your my girlfriend contact while still being a person and being able to be with others besides her. His hair rocks, his scruff rocks, he rocks.
So then we came home, chloe came home for one second to grab a movie and go watch it with JJ and Laura took Trent home to her sisters to sleep. I was at home. Happy. I made a yoga playlist and stretched it out, and reached nomas day. then slept like a new woman, strong, knowing that i can do this. I wasn't sad. it crossed my mind to be sad, but i just decided not to be, cuz i wasn't sad in my heart. i was happy. and thats what i must remember, my heart is happy so i should be too. My love is still waiting for me :) I can see him when i close my eyes, smiling at me. thinking that i'm out there somewhere too.

or else my heart will explode

I am just doing the normal study for a test thing. today i decided to do it a little different, i do like to shake things up from time to time. On a computer in the humanities lab, i chose to listen to a byu french studies podcast as i studied french grammar. It was one with the director yvon le bras and two girls who qui ont faire les stages en France. I thought as i was listening, oh ya, this will be really great for me to hear.
i don't know if i was wrong or right. as it was playing there was an increasing pressure in my chest cavity. this happens from time to time, meaning that my heart want to explode because of happiness or longing or something else. this was longing. more than a want, more than a desire. its a must. i must go to france. i'm going to live there for many months and see what it tastes like.

Why do i love all things french? i'm not sure. i just always have and i can't stop. i know it has something to do with the fact that i love culture, and this is the one i've been studying for so long. when you feel like you know someone, you can't help but love them like they are a part of you. thats how i feel about france, about speaking french. its all i want to do. i want to speak it at home but i know that know one will understand; they'll just think i'm showing off or something. il y a un trou au coeur quand je ne parle pas français. et je pense peut-etre cette semestre il est en train de grandir.

so i've started this blog today. listening to richard galliano on the accordion. dreaming.
why do i feel this way. i have plans. to go on a mission. i can do an internship in france afterwards. i know this. but at the same time i feel like the brat in charlie in the chocolate factories, don't care how, i want it now. but i'll just try to let me heart simmer down and study for this test.

i hope i do ok. ! yikes. i want to learn french. here i go.